Astronaut Notices Possibility of Trump Presidency, Decides “Year in Space” Is Not Enough
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Since March 27, 2015, astronaut Scott Kelly has been traveling around our heads on the ISS to test the impacts space travel has on the human body.
Though he’s been active with musical instruments and Twitter, Kelly hasn’t “kept up” with politics because Houston’s Mission Control doesn’t want high blood pressure to affect the quality of their experimental results. Kelly remarks, “I didn’t know what the big deal was, things couldn’t have been that bad.”
Back on Earth, after announcing his candidacy in June, business mogul and avid SuperCuts customer Donald J. Trump from New York has been playing the game, the dirty way. With crude remarks on a variety of topics, some would say it was best for astronaut Scott Kelly to avoid thinking on such matters.
When March 2nd rolled around, it was time to head home. Along with strenuous physical and mental tests, Kelly caught up with what he missed. Upon hearing the resounding success of Trump’s campaign, and without saying a word, Scott insisted on reboarding the capsule without the required provisions for another trip. “I’ve never seen more of the fear of God in someone’s eyes,” remarked Charles Bolden, NASA’s administrator.
Though the story is still unfolding, Blazefeed knows one thing for sure, Astronaut Scott Kelly’s year in space may soon be five years in space, God forbid up to 9.