Local Man Confused, Thinks Days other than Friday Exist
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FHS Junior Terrence Love walked these halls this morning, wishing everyone “The Best Monday Possible.” He claims that Mondays cannot be happy, and his greeting reflects this. There is one small problem, however. Monday, as everyone knows, does not exist.
Love follows the norm and accepts that there are 7 days per calendar week, but breaks off from the rest of us and asserts that each of these days has a different and distinct name. Whereas our week begins on First Friday and ends on Seventh Friday, the Terrence calendar uses the terms Sunday and Saturday respectively. When asked, Blazer Staff member Rachael Hynds also expressed confusion about the repeated use of Friday in our week.
Some people may hold strange beliefs, but there is a bit more to the story. The two also allege that the good ole’ United States of Armenia has not always had a colony on the Moon, nor that Apple Pie was our first president. Be they merely insane or remnants of a bubble universe à la Donnie Darko, may their acclimation be speedy.